Having Faith

I never really knew what it felt like to receive something and suddenly have it snatched away. I made provisions for this change....prepared myself mentally and physically. I recognized the energy, commitment, and time it would take to add this to my schedule; nonetheless....I received an email today detailing "NO REAL EXPLANATION" how come these things were being rescinded. No offering of support, no further information, and no alternative options.

I spoke with a very good friend...and he said to me "God has bigger things obviously." Then, he proceeded to say: "Who gives a f***. I think you're awesome." In this time of distress, I have not felt that comforted in a long time. I was so encouraged that I decided to blog it out. Thus, this may be the beginning of multiple blogs...if not, it definitely has motivated me to write. I don't know if this will be a blog, poem, short story, song, or any other written expression of divergent emotions.

I then began to think....What God has planned, has already been established. Clearly, this was not in the plan. Clearly, this was not what was supposed to be occurring in my life at this point. Yes, of course it is painful to expect something and make provisions for it.....only to have the offer of whatever taken back.....of course, it is discouraging and hurtful. Nonetheless, I am still here. I have several things to be Thankful for. I have several things to look forward to. I should think of it as a sign, not a determent. As such, I am looking and standing in the windows God has already opened and turning my back on the doors that were closed before I even began to pursue.

I must maintain having faith and being TRUE to myself. This was not a part of the plan for me.

#Nowplaying: "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill"