"Color Purple"

Pride, Ego, and Politics stops us from Progress.

I should have recognized that something was wrong when I began to question my beliefs.

I should have recognized that something was wrong when I began to question my intuition.

I should have recognized that something was wrong when I began to question my sanity....

I began to lose myself.

I began to feel like I was drowning in a pool of worry and conflict.

I began to feel like the walls of my lungs were deteriorating my ability to breathe.

I began to feel like the nutrients in my soul were being diminished by toxic bloods of external beings.

I began to lose myself.

In the Color Purple, Celie found who it was that she was after being lost for so long and defining herself according to the standards of other people. Many might say, why would you choose to compare yourself to Celie (one of the lowest of the lows)? Well, when I look at Celie....I see strength. I see the ability to maintain when the times were hard. I see the ability to sustain when push came to shove. I see the ability to allow herself to become engulfed as the foundation of another and other people's worlds. To be an active actor in that process takes monumental strength, vigor, and resilience. One thing that I have figured out about myself is that I love who I am...but, I question my sense of being when I come into situations that seem more "profound," "enlightened," and "enriched." Yet, as I contemplate on the bullshyt I sacrificed internally for the love and positivity I sought externally, I realize that the problem really wasn't without, it was within. I needed to find my voice and believe in the things that I once held dear and to the memories of myself that don't even remain too clear, but were positive and self-motivating.

Sometimes we forget who we are by trying to become who we are not. I never was what I aspired to be...I could and can never be what I thought was needed of me. I can only be me. By trying to achieve a false reality of self-concept, I denied the most important key to my being...that was me. Now I'm singing, "NO MORE DRAMA" by Mary J. and thinking of the vigor of Celie. I'm praying for the heart of my mother and the unconditional positive regard of my father, God. I'm not religious, but I do believe in the spiritual connections we have within the universe. My naivete of believing in false imperfections of presumed "righteous" external power.....has been obsoleted from my spiritual being because I deserve more and I have found what I was looking for.

Moral of the story: Be you. It might be cliche, but it is REAL. When you try to assume roles that are not naturally a part of your course, you reject your TRUE sense of self. The only person that suffers is you.

Reject the negativity

Reject the manipulation

Reject the lack of evidence.

Be True to You and Love You 4 You....Imperfections and All.